5 Things EVERY Good Husband and Father Should Be

What do you want to be as a husband and father?

What are you looking for in a husband or father?



Seek to be, or find, these fives things in 1 Chronicles 7:40

"All these were descendants of Asher—heads of families, choice men, brave warriors and outstanding leaders. The number of men ready for battle, as listed in their genealogy, was 26,000. "

GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS ARE "HEADS OF FAMILIES."
The Bible says God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of the man, and the man is the head of the woman.  (1 Corinthians 11:3)  For good husbands this is a given. He may accept or reject it, but to deny it is to deny God Himself. 

GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS ARE "CHOICE MEN."
A "choice man" is more striking than anyone else in his family, standing out more than anyone else, more distinct than anyone else. Think of  the man's beard like a lion's mane, or his gray beard like the silver back gorilla.  He is physically distinct by God's design, and spiritually distinct by Christ likeness.

GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS ARE "BRAVE WARRIORS."
Not just warriors, they are brave warriors. They boldly defend their territory, proactively seeking and removing danger.  I'll say more about this later.

GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS ARE "OUTSTANDING LEADERS."
Not just leaders, outstanding leaders.  As "choice men," they stand out in their family by Christlikeness.  They follow the principles of Christ like leadership that Jesus gave to the 12 apostles:

Whoever wishes to be great among you must be a servant. Whoever wishes to be first must be a slave of all.

They are the most self sacrificing.  As Christ on the cross gave more of Himself than any else in all eternity, the outstanding leader lays down his life for his family.

GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS ARE "READY FOR BATTLE."
As brave warriors, they are "prepared for war," prepared to stop anyone who violates the God given boundaries of their families.  They have spiritual weapons to resist Satan, self control to resist attacks of the heart, and physical weapons of self-defense against physical attacks against their families.

What do you want to become as a husband and father?
What do you want to find in a husband and father?

If you become or find these five things, you will have found the very picture of Christ Himself.

The 3 BEST THINGS About BEING MARRIED

1. It's exactly what you're looking for (if you're not married.)
The constant companionship is very real and very fulfilling.

2.  It actually gets better every year!
I feel exactly the same bond I felt with my wife the first day we met.  Yet I also feel we've grown so deeply connected that I can no longer think of myself without thinking of Lucy.

3.  It is clearly a blessing from God, and blessed by God.
I KNOW that God is for marriage in general, and for my marriage specifically.  I've seen Him bring us through very difficult days, days so hard that it didn't seem like we'd make it.  But we did!  We always did.  And I KNOW it was God with us, helping us, guiding us.

• If you're not married and you want to be, know that what you want from marriage is exactly what it is!
• As God is for marriage, He is also for YOU GETTING MARRIED.
• When you do finally find the one for you, expect each year to get better and better!

How Unmarried Women Should Dress‏

The word of God says to treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with all purity. This means if a woman is not a man’s wife, he should see her as a mother or sister. Period. Which also means a woman should dress like a mother or sister, except for her husband. No exceptions. If a woman presents her body sexually to any man other than her husband, it’s like she’s presenting her body to her father or brothers, at best! Incest! Or, she is tempting adultery deliberately. She dresses to transgress. This should not be so.

The 3 Things To BE (Or LOOK FOR) In GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS (Part 2)

A true man is a servant. No one in the family gives more than him. This is the man’s supremacy: Humility. He supremely sacrifices himself, like Christ. In this way he seeks greatness, to be the head of his household. The man’s mood creates the atmosphere. He must be self-controlled when his children are unstable, and when his wife is in emotional turmoil. A man does have feelings, gently expressed. He controls his emotional intensity. He focuses his emotions, never using the power of his fierce feelings against his family, but against their enemies.

The 3 Things To BE (Or LOOK FOR) In GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS (Part 1)

Good husbands and fathers are selfless, self-controlled, and gentle. Four scriptures show me this: 1. Exhort the young men to be self-controlled. 2. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh towards them. 3. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. 4. Whoever wishes to be great among you must be a servant, and whoever wishes to be first must be a slave of all. After almost 12 years of marriage and 10 years as a father, I know with certainty these three traits are necessary!

The 3 Things To BE (Or LOOK FOR) In GOOD HUSBANDS AND FATHERS (Part 3)

The three things necessary for good husbands and fathers are experienced through one specific skill: Speech! It is written, “If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.” By words the man controls himself. By words he expresses gentleness, as it is written, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh word stirs up anger.” As the word of God says, the good man is “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” Servants listen more than they speak, and because they are selfless, they are slow to anger. As Rudyard Kipling said to his son, “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming in you…” then you are indeed a man! If you are a man, by controlling your words, you can possess the three necessities of true masculinity! If you are a woman looking for a good husband and father, look for these three things, expressed by a man who controls his words.

Why some WOMEN CAN'T FIND A GOOD MAN (Part 2)

 fashiononmymind.blogspot.com

Some women don’t admit what I’m about to tell you.

Some do.

All know.

Some women don’t know where to look for a good man.

Some do.  (Now you do.)

But some don’t want to!  They say the do, but they avoid good men like the flu! 

Why?

Some women are afraid of good men!

Not afraid of disappointment or disillusionment.

They are afraid of this reality: 

“He might not choose me.”

This is a possibility.  Better accepted than rejected. 

Because the fact is, a good man will only be attracted to a good woman. Which leads to the question:  Are you a good woman?

“Of course I am!” is the mantra in America!

It is assumed that everything is right with women, and everything is wrong with men.

But we know the truth.

You know the truth.

If you don’t know where to look, I’ve told you.

If you’re willing to admit to truth, you’ll be free.

It’s actually freeing to see yourself as you really are: 

You.  The good and the bad.  The happy and the sad.

What ever is wrong with you, you can’t blame your dad, or brothers, or boyfriends—

You can’t blame men!

But you know that already.

So look behind the scenes!

Why some WOMEN CAN'T FIND A GOOD MAN (Part 1)

When some women say “a good man is hard to find,” what they really mean is that they don’t know where to look.  So if you’re a woman looking for a good man, I’m going to show you where to find him.  (And if you’re a good man, I’m going to help her to find you!)

There’s truth to the idea that the good men are already married. 

Stay with this thought. 

Where do you find the good married men?  Their actual location?  One of two places:  At home.  At work.  This doesn’t mean they don’t spend time with male friends every now and then.  But not too often.  Their two main locations show their mission and vision. 

This is where you will find good men:

LOOK BEHIND THE SCENES!

• Good men don’t draw attention to themselves.
• Good men aren’t focused on themselves.

Jesus, The Supreme Ultimate Man, said it best:  “The Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve.”

Good men are servants, plain and simple.

It doesn’t mean they don’t have high profile jobs that put them out front as leaders.  It means that even in those positions, they are not focused on themselves, or seeking to draws attention to themselves.

The good men, married or unmarried, are behind the scenes, at home or at work.  They are committed to serving God, their family, and their community.  They are not leaves floating on the winds of life, from club to club, party to party, hobby to hobby, woman to woman.   

They seek the greatness Jesus spoke of when He said this, “Whoever wishes to be great among you must be a servant.  Whoever wishes to be first must be a slave of all.”

Look behind the scenes, where you are, at your job, college, or neighborhood; your church or book store, wherever you are right now.  Look for the servants with a vision.  These are the good men.

Some women don’t know where to look for good men. 

But there is another reason they can’t find them.  (Click here to find out!)

The Key to Your Real Personal Authority (Part 1)

The key to the real experience of your personal authority is your unique identity, manifest in a specific territory, or within specific boundaries. Say you’re a husband (or wife.) There is only one you to your spouse. No one else should be able to do what you do for him or her. In other words, if my wife is asked this question, “Who on earth loves you more than or better than your husband,” her answer will be an immediate and definitive, “No one!” Because this is my goal as her husband: To love her more than and better than any man, or any one, ON EARTH. This is my authority with my Lucy. Who ever you are, wherever you are, for whatever reason you are where you are, be more than and better than...by simply being what God made you, and only you, to be. (Read Part 2 to know why any of this matters at all!)

How John Got Married by the End of the Year (And How YOU Can Too!) [Part 7]

So what do you do? You pray for an apartment. Then you go through “the process.” Cause and effect. Meeting landlords. Do you expect a landlord to come knocking on your door in the name of Jesus? Well in a way, that is what happens…via news paper ads or ads on line. Someone is announcing a need…FOR YOU!!!…the one who needs and wants an apartment. In the same way, there is someone looking to get married that is making the same kind of announcement through prayers and “ vibes.” She’s where you are, or on her way. He’s where you are, or about to arrive. The question is, will you respond to the vibes? Will you send out your own prayers and vibes? And will you go to where you are most likely to meet "the one?" Or do you think you’re the only one into the things you love most? Do you think you’re the only one who wants to be married by the end of this year (or next year, or whenever?) Pray to meet the one by a specific time! Go where you are most likely to meet the one! Do what you would normally do there! Whatever that is, if it's essential to who you are and what you want to share, the one will be there...or the one will come there!

How John Got Married by the End of the Year (And How YOU Can Too!) [Part 6]

Why not by the end of the year? Really? If you wanted a job or a car or an apartment by the end of the year, what would you do? You would first of all ASSUME that there is a vacant apartment that NEEDS a tenant! In fact, that there is a landlord practically begging for someone to rent her apartment. Probably more apartments than you can choose from. There is a landlord that wants this room rented BY THE END OF THE YEAR! Now of course, you don’t want to live in a roach infested shack! But the landlord knows this! He’s not trying to lose your money any more than you want to lose money. This doesn’t mean someone won’t cheat you. But it does mean that there are landlords that have a very nice place to rent you… a place that you would actually like a lot!

How John Got Married by the End of the Year (And How YOU Can Too!) [Part 5]

But if you DID expect to get married by the end of this day, week, month, or year, what would you do and how would you pray? Somehow, your prayer must include you meeting “the one,” or the one meeting you. And how is that most likely to happen? WHERE EVER YOU ARE! At your job. At your favorite hangout. Where ever you are, he or she has to get there. Somehow. Some way. Which means that he or she is either on the way to where you are, RIGHT NOW, or the one is ALREADY where you are, right now! It’s not like God has to create your spouse from the dust of the earth or from your rib! He exists! She exists! Right now! Looking for you. Waiting for you. But ONE of you has to make a move! Even with answered prayer, the answer is still getting you to "the one," or the one to you.

How John Got Married by the End of the Year (And How YOU Can Too!) [Part 4]

"But we don’t live in those kind of days John, where you can just take a man or woman to 'your tent' and 'know her' and then be married! It takes time." Does it really? Says who? And how long? Are you the only one on earth, or in your state, or in your city, who would desperately want to be married by the end of the year? Say you met “the one” today. What would stop you from getting married BY THE END OF THIS WEEK, let alone by the end of the year? What really? Money? Pre-marital counseling? Dating for a while to “get to know each other?” Fine and good. But aren’t all of those things decisions? And aren’t you acting on those decisions? Even praying based on those assumptions? What do you expect to happen if you don’t REALLY intend to get married ANY TIME SOON?

How John Got Married by the End of the Year (And How YOU Can Too!) [Part 3]

"Ok John. So are you PROMISING me that I’ll be married by December 31, 2013? Or when you say 'by the end of the year,' do you mean by the end of A YEAR, which really means a year from this day? AND, how can you make such a promise, if you are making either promise?" This is what I’m saying. God Himself looked at Adam and said, “It’s not good for the man to be alone. I’ll make a complimentary companion suitable for him.” God thought that. We have no record that Adam did, though he may have felt it and not known what he felt. The scriptures say that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor from the Lord. God’s favor! Finally, the Spirit inspired Paul to tell those who burned with passion to get married. Just like that. He made it sound like all they had to do was finish reading his letter then go find a wife or husband that day!

How John Got Married by the End of the Year (And How YOU Can Too!) [Part 2]

What am I really into, to the point that I want her to be into it to? Let’s say I love books. Not just any kind of books mind you. C.S. Lewis books. So much so that the man shapes who I am and who I’m going to be. So much so that I can’t imagine being with a woman who doesn’t share my passion. Where is this woman? Wherever I am! And where am I? In the book store: C.S. Lewis section! Do you see where I’m going!? You should! So I pray: God, send her here, or send me to the book store she goes to. Because one way or another, we have to meet. One way, or another, she’s going to be where I am. And where am I going to be? Where I love to be! If I want her to love what I love, then she’ll be there too….looking for me!

How John Got Married by the End of the Year (And How YOU Can Too!) [Part 1]

I found my wife when I decided I couldn’t wait any longer! I wouldn’t wait! I’d been praying and fasting and whatever we’re supposed to do to find favor with God. Then it hit me--We have to meet! That’s just cause and effect! Either I have to be where she is, or she has to come where I am. Bam! It’s really that simple. Now where am I going to find my wife? WHERE EVER I AM! She’s here! She’s got to be. Or I’ll go where ever she is. But when I get there, wherever she is, when I’m “there”--she’ll be “here!” Where I am. Now where would I most likely meet her? I'll ask it another way....