The High School Virgin Boy (A Short Story)

I walked to my next class, focused, determined not to look at the girls butt in front of me.  It's hard.  Her jeans are tight, and I'm very attracted to her.  But I want to wait for sex.  I need to wait.  I have to wait.  I've seen what not waiting did to my mom, my dad, my family.  So much divorce, so much unfaithfulness, so much loneliness.  I have to wait.  So I won't look.

"Come on man," Vincent said.  I didn't notice him beside me.  "I know what you're doing.  What's wrong with looking?  You can look man." About a week ago I was at Vincent's house.  "Hey, Donnie, check this out."  I went with Vincent to his room.  He put a tape in the VCR, and I saw it.  I wanted to vomit.  It was the first time I saw pornography.  Having never had sex, or seen a girl naked, what I saw made me nauseous.  It wasn't what I imagined sex would be like.  The closest I could imagine of course was how it felt to hug a girl, to feel her body very close to mine, the intense arousal.  As far as I knew, that was sex.  But I didn't want simulation or the real thing.  Vincent was convinced when he showed me the tape that I should indulge my desires.  He was convinced on our way to class that I should look at the girl's butt in front of me.

"Just look man.  There's nothing wrong with it.

Of course, in a sense, he was right.  I can't help that I'm a teen aged boy behind a teen aged girl with a nice butt.  I can't help that I like how she looks.  That I want her.  Maybe I should look.  I can't help what I am.  What am I?  A young man, wanting a young woman...wanting a wife...but she's not my wife...that's the issue.  I want to give myself to one woman, and one woman alone.  "Just look man..."  We're almost across the street.  (My school is in two buildings...I have to go from one to the other.)  I had at least a full sidewalk to just enjoy the girl, or I could speed up and walk ahead of her.  "Just look man." 

I sped up.  Vincent followed, of course.  (Why do some teen aged boys feel it their duty to harass other boys about their sexual decisions?)  "What's wrong with it?"  I realized that Vincent must need my approval or something.  I heard in his voice the tone of persuasion, but who was he trying to persuade?  I had made up my mind.  She was behind me.  I was going to wait to have sex...I was going to wait, even to look at a girls' body.

Why Raymond refuses to go to church.

This is what Raymond is thinking as he sits outside of the church.  "I want to be perfect, but I keep being told this is impossible by the church.  I can't stand this.  I can't stand that I must be sinful but that at the same time I can't commit adultery.  I want to commit adultery, but I can't, yet I can't keep from committing adultery because I can't be sinless.  I see how this is a contradiction and it makes me sick.  Why are we so stupid in the church?  Why can't we see that we have to be sinless or we are going to die or commit adultery or worse.  Jesus was perfect but I can't be; at least that's what I'm told.  So I might as well commit adultery.  Why not?  I'm going to heaven anyway and I can't be perfect.  But if I commit adultery my wife will leave me and the church will back her up.  Hypocrites.  They want me to be a perfectly faithful husband, to not sin, to not commit adultery, but they tell me that this is impossible because we are gong to sin everyday in word and thought.  Hypocrites.  This is why I don't go to church."

The Truth about STRIPPERS, PORN STARS, AND PROSTITUTES

"If a man commits adultery with another man's wife--with the wife of his neighbor--both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death." Leviticus 20:10

Some women love to sexually seduce men. And some men live to sexually seduce women.  These men and women commit sin.  They are equally responsible and accountable before God, not victims.  This is the truth about strippers, porn stars, and prostitutes--men and women who commit sexual sin for money.

THE ADULTERESS SINS AND IS NOT A VICTIM OF MEN

As the law of God shows, the adulteress and adulterer are guilty of adultery.  God never depicts adulterous women as victims of sexually perverted men, but as instigators and initiators of adultery and sexual sin, just as men are.  Here are two examples from scripture.

1.  Potiphar's wife and Joseph

Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”  But he refused... And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. Genesis 39:6-8,10

 

The wife of Potiphar was instigator and initiator.  Why?  Was it because she was a "victim" of Joseph or any other man?  Not according to scripture.  She was physically attracted to Joseph, she wanted to have sex with Joseph, and she constantly pursued him for sex, though he constantly refused her.  I experienced something similar.

 

I was a virgin until I got married.  I used to tell certain girlfriends when I was dating that I didn't want to have sex until marriage, being a virgin.  I remember seeing an evil gleam in their eyes after I told them this.  And they tried to get me to have sex with them!

 

Not because they were victims of abuse, or because they were really just trying to find love.  I was loving them emotionally and putting no pressure on them physically, as is usually depicted being the case of "sex driven men."  As it was with Joseph, so it was with me, and other men I knew experiencing the same, but with their stories untold.

 

2. The temptress and the unwise man

Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and to insight, “You are my relative.”  They will keep you from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words.  Proverbs 7:4-5

 

The Book of Proverbs repeatedly warns young men to avoid and resist "temptresses" or "seductresses" or "adulteresses."  They were the strippers and prostitutes of Solomon's day, and they are in no way presented as prey, but predators!  Their words and ways are presented by God as sweet poison.  God sees sexually sinful women and men alike.

 

THE ADULTERER SINS AND IS NOT A VICTIM OF WOMEN

 

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group  and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”  John 8:3-5

 

These teachers of the Law of Moses knew plain and well that the ADULTERER and the adulteress were to be stoned, not just the woman.  These teachers made the man a victim instead of a villain with the woman.  Some men blame sinful women for wearing revealing and tight clothing for the purpose of being tempting.  Though these women are indeed wrong, they don't make men victims when they sexually sin. 

 

CHILDREN AND SLAVES ARE VICTIMS OF SEXUAL SIN

"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea." Mark 9:42

There are boys and girls who are sexually abused to such an extent that their minds become sexually perverted.  They don't know that what they've experienced is not normal. These are victims.  Yet even they, when they come to see and understand the evil done to them, they have a moral obligation to refuse to do the evil done to them.

What if a pimp was so sexually abused by his mother that he came to love sexual perversion and despise women?  Is he a victim?  Yes.  But do we consider him not responsible for his rapes and sexual exploitations?  Of course not.  We hold him accountable and expect him to protect those who were abused like he was, not to join in their abuse.

God expects the same from women who were abused and victimized as little girls.  He is full of compassion and great in mercy towards men and women who have been traumatized.  Jesus is the one who saves them not just from their sins, but the sins committed against them.

But Jesus says what He said in times past: 

• To women caught in adultery, in His day and even today,  Jesus, without condemnation, still says, "Go and sin no more." John 8:11
• To men whom Jesus healed, in his day and today, Jesus is still saying, "Stop sinning or something worse will happen to you." John 5:14

Some make it seem like no stripper or porn star really wants to do what she is doing.  These say all prostitutes  are poor disenfranchised victims of men, past and present, who are so abused and have such low self esteem that they don't know any way out.  They say strippers are just trying to pay for college or take care of kids on their own.  For some of them, these things may very well be true...after all these things were very true---for the slaves in America!

Who was poorer, more disenfranchised,  and more abused than African slaves in America?  They were sexually exploited by the masters:  African men were breeders, African women were sex slaves.  Yet what was their normal response to all of this sexual abuse?  Becoming pimps and prostitutes?  Not my mother. Not my grandmother or great grand mothers.  They raised children on their own; yet none did so by selling their bodies.

The truth about strippers, porn stars, and prostitutes, is that some do it for money and power. 

Some love the quick money, others loves having sexual power, pimps over women, prostitutes over men.  They love their sin.  Neither God nor we should make them victims.  Nor should we condemn them, because God loves them and gave Jesus to die for their sins.  But before they experience salvation, they must be convinced of their sin. 

They cannot be made victims. 
To do so is most unloving. 
We must tell the truth about strippers, porn stars, and prostitutes.
About men and women who commit sexual sin.