Escaping the argument trap (Part 2)

"Don't answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.  But speak with a fool according to your wisdom lest he think in his soul that he is wise." 
Proverbs 26:4-5


I will never argue again.  I will never verbally fight.

I've said that before, and still did it.  Why?  I see these two reasons:

1. I forget who I'm talking to: an unreasonable person.
2. I forget my focus, allowing myself to get blindsided and distracted.

So, if I don't need to forget these two things, then I need to remember two things instead.

ONLY REASON WITH REASONABLE PEOPLE
I used to be a bouncer, and the head bouncer had this motto:  Never try to reason with a drunkard.
It seems obvious.  But I would forget.  I actually had an experience that was just as telling.  A drunk woman, or a woman who was leaving tipsiness and entering intoxication, said, "I keep forgetting I'm talking to someone who is sober."  Look at that.  Even as she approached drunkenness, she had to remind herself that the best person to talk to when you're drunk is someone else whose drunk.  She saw what the head bouncer saw: The sober and the drunk can't converse.  Sober people converse with sober people.  Drunks converse with drunks. 

But I forget.  I start talking to a drunk person as if she's sober.  In doing so, I become drunk with rage.  I allow myself to get into the hellishness of arguments, the merry-go-round of fighting. 

Never again.  I will reason with the reasonable, reasonably.  With the unreasonable, I will either completely avoid them, not talk to them at all, or speak as briefly as possible.

Click here for part 3.

(The image above is from Google Images)

Escaping the argument trap (Part 1)

You've done it.  I've done it.  We keeping falling for it.  We know it's not going to get us anywhere, but we keep trying to achieve the impossible: to make people do what they don't want to do. 

We argue.

I'm not talking about having a meaningful discussion where two people don't agree.
Key word:  Discussion.

I'm talking about verbal combat.  Fighting.  Yelling.  Screaming.  Insulting. 

Have you ever had an argument, a verbal fight with someone, and the argument made any difference?
Any good difference?  Got anything accomplished, agreed upon, or settled.

I haven't.

And I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of falling for it.  I'm tired of doing it.

So, how do we escape?

I'll tell you how I'm going to escape, and you can see if it helps you.

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2.

(The image above is from Google Images)

Escaping the argument trap (Part 3)

"Don't answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.  But speak with a fool according to your wisdom lest he think in his soul that he is wise." 
Proverbs 26:4-5

AVOID ARGUMENTATIVE PEOPLE.
In arguments, if I stoop to the level of the foolish person arguing, I'll become like him, according to the verses I've quoted.  I need to not let myself get distracted.  I can do this in one of three ways:

1. Completely avoid the argumentative person.
2. If you can't avoid her, if possible, don't say anything to her at all.  (Never reason with a drunkard--someone who is angry or not thinking straight.)
3. If you must speak to the argumentative person, wisely and briefly say only what is necessary to end the conversation, as it is written:

"Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." 

Proverbs 17:14


I have actually experienced victory in dealing with argumentative people--when I've remembered these things.  I have to remember who I can and can't talk to.  The key is avoiding the argumentative person, as it is written,

"Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared."  Proverbs 22:24-25

This verse says it all!  It tells us how to escape the argument trap:  avoid argumentative people, if this is possible.  If not, as it says in Proverbs 17:14, end interactions with argumentative people as soon as possible.  Don't answer them.  Don't say anything.  Leave them as soon as you can.  If you can't leave them, if you have to talk to them (like if they're your boss) speak as briefly as possible, as it is also written,

"When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise."  Proverbs 17:10

So if you're like me, and you never want to argue again, we now know how.

• Avoid argumentative people.
• If we can't avoid them, don't talk to them.
• If we must talk to them, wisely speak briefly.  (This means we say only what we need to say, only what they are open to hearing, no more no less, according to their authority if we're in their territory.)

May we never argue again. 

May  we escape the argument trap.

(Both images are from Google Images)

Is God Searching for You? (Part 2)

"The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2 Chronicles 16:9a NIV

GOD SEARCHES THE WHOLE EARTH
God actively looks at what is happening on earth, in each and every life, at each and every person, at each and every nation.  Searching.  Looking.  Seeking.  What does he see when he looks at me, and you?  What does he see when he looks at our hearts?

GOD SEARCHES FOR COMMITMENT TO HIM.
When God looks at everyone, he's looking for those who are completely committed to him.  He looks for men and women who live only to honor and obey him, no matter the consequences.  Complete dedication.  We know what this means and what it looks like.  Imagine your best friend.  Or your husband. Or your wife.  Or your parents.  Or your children.  Imagine complete dedication.  You know what they would say and do if they were completely committed to you.  So does God.  Are you completely committed to him?  If you are, be very encouraged; he's looking for you.

GOD WANTS TO STRENGTHEN THOSE COMMITTED TO HIM.
If you sincerely want to find God's will for your life, and the power to carry it out, and that is all you want, the most important thing to you, then God sees you.  He's been looking for you and has found you.  And he has been looking for you for a purpose, a deliberate focus:  to strengthen you.  Right now. 

But some of you may be asking, "What if I'm not completely committed to him like you've said?"

You can completely commit to him now, with me.  Let's do it together:

"God, creator of everything and everyone, my creator, I haven't completely been committed to you.  Please forgive me. I completely give myself to you, my heart and life.  From now on, I want only to honor and obey you.  Please see me, and strengthen me.  Amen."

If you prayed with me, tell me in the comment, and we can continue to connect.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Is God Searching for You? (Part 1)

"The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."  2 Chronicles 16:9a

In the history of Israel when their kings rose and fell, a prophet came to King Asa, one of Israel's many kings.  Asa began his rule completely devoted to God, and God protected him.  But Asa stopped being completely devoted to God and put his trust in other kings and their alliances.  A prophet named Hanani came to Asa with a message from the Lord, and one of the things God gave him to say is the quote above.  This quote applied not only to Asa and Israel, but to the whole earth, to every one on earth, to you and me.  It began in the beginning.

• God looked for Adam and Eve when they hid from him after sinning against him.
• He looked for Cain who planned to kill Abel.
• He saw Enoch living faithfully for him, and kept Enoch from ever dying.
• He looked at everyone on earth with regret because every imagination of every heart was only evil all the time, except for the heart of Noah.  God saw him and his family and had mercy.
• God saw a nomad named Abram and his barren wife Sarai.  He blessed them so they'd be a blessing.
• He saw a slave woman named Hagar and her son.
• He saw Abraham's sons, the people of Israel, and later the nation of Egypt oppressing them. 

And the scriptures continue to show God's eyes searching the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 

Is God searching for you?

Obey and Ask: How to Be filled with the Spirit

If you believe that Jesus died for your sins and rose from the dead, you are a child of God.  And as a child of God, only two things are necessary for you to be permeated by God's Spirit and power.

OBEY GOD.
According to the Apostle Peter, "God gives the Spirit to those who obey Him."  And according to the Apostle Paul, we are actually commanded to "be filled with the Spirit" instead of "being drunk with wine."  So the first thing to do is simply, completely, and unconditionally yield to the Spirit, giving Him complete and absolute control over you.  That's what it means to "be filled with the Spirit."  That is the command to obey.  Once you've obeyed, you only need to do one more thing.

ASK GOD.
The Lord Jesus said, "If you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him."  So, if you are a child of God, and you've yielded to the Spirit, all you have to do is ask God to fill you with the Spirit, and He will do it.  Right now.

Obey God. (Yield to the Spirit.)
Ask God. (To fill you with the Spirit.)

That's all that's required to be filled with God's Spirit, if you are a child of God through faith in Jesus.

How to be filled with the Spirit and know it! Part 2

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to reckless indiscretion. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.
Ephesians 5:18 Berean Study Bible

Just as alcoholics completely yield to the permeation, influence, and control of alcohol, believers completely yield to the permeation, influence, and control of the Spirit.  The believer completely opens himself or herself to the Spirit's permeation, power, and control.  There is a Bible verse that effectively illustrates this for me:

"Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?"  Romans 6:16 NIV (italics mine)

To be a slave is to be under the complete control of a master.  Paul is saying that we are under the control of whomever or whatever we offer ourselves to.  It could be to sin (drunkenness) or to obedience (being filled with the Spirit.)  It's up to us.  And because Paul is commanding us not to get drunk  on wine but to be filled with the Spirit, it's not only something we can do, but also something we must do. 

So to be filled with the Spirit, the first thing to do is yield to Him.  We simply offer ourselves to Him completely, like this:

"Holy Spirit, I give my spirit, soul, body, words, and activity completely to you.  I totally surrender to you in total obedience to you."

After yielding to God, we now only need to ask to be filled with His Spirit.

ASK GOD TO FILL YOU WITH HIS SPIRIT.

After you yield to the Spirit, then ask God the Father to fill you with the Spirit, to give you His Spirit as your master.  Jesus tells us how to do this:

"Even though you're evil, you know how to give good gifts to your children. So how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?"  Luke 11:13 GWT

If you are a child of God through faith in Jesus, and you yield to the Spirit's control, all you have to do after yielding is ask God to fill you with His Spirit.  The drunk person, in a sense, is asking the "spirit" to fill him or her.  (Some people call alcohol "spirits.")  Because the Spirit is an actual person, and because He will not negate your free will, He won't fill you unless you ask Him.

And when you ask Him, when you are under His influence, you actually become self-controlled, instead of losing control like drunk people do.

If you want to be filled with the Spirit and know it, say this prayer with me:

Our Father in heaven, I yield completely and unconditionally to Your Spirit.  Please fill me with your Spirit in Jesus' name.  Amen.

Let me know your experience of the Spirit filled life in the comments.  I look forward to hearing from you.

(And click here to read part 3 to see what to expect when you're filled with the Spirit.)