The root of all your problems (part 2)

He (the devil) has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44B NLT, parentheses mine.

Tammy knew Ben needed her as much as she needed him.  He'd told her this in their last conversation, and she believed him.  "Why did I doubt him? Why did I believe a lie?"

Before her lunch break, Tammy remembered anticipating and expecting Ben's call.  When he didn't call, her first thought was, "Something must've happened." But then another feeling came, a feeling of fear mixed with anger.  Again, at first, she remembered wondering why she felt fear and anger.  She believed Ben fully intended to call her, but must've been kept from doing it somehow.  Then it dawned on her.  She made a choice.  She exchanged the truth, what Ben promised, for the lie, her feelings that contradicted Ben's promise.  With this realization she had a revelation: a lie implies a liar.  Tammy now remembered the voice of the liar.

She remembered this thought that accompanied the feeling of fear and anger:  "I know he doesn't care about me; he just thinks I'm needy."  She now remembered the tone of the thought:  the tone was furious and and afraid, a fury and fear that seemed much more than she would've usually felt when she was genuinely angry or fearful.  In other words, it wasn't her thought.  Though the words were in first person, imitating her own mental voice, it wasn't a thought that originated with her own actual feelings.  She truly believed Ben probably had a good reason for not calling, but she also had the bad feelings that she remembered allowing to over take her.  She remembered the moment she let the feelings flow over her like a shower.  Before that moment, she felt like she was at two roads:  one leading to believing Ben, the other to disbelieving him.  "Why did I choose do doubt him?" Tammy asked herself.  The answer came solidly, with an almost tangible certainty.  

It was easier to trust in herself than to trust in Ben.  
This was the essence of the temptation and deception.  
(Click here for part 3)