How to Raise Godly Children (Part 1)

In raising godly children, your goal is gentle self-control; 

to achieve this goal, focus on your words.

As it is written,

• “Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
• “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
• “If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to control his whole body.”

 Connect these verses to gentle self-control:

1. Parents (specifically fathers) should not provoke anger in their children.
2. Harsh words provoke anger.
3. Therefore, parents should model gentle self-discipline before they can discipline their children.

Start with yourself.

Start with your words.

First, let’s look at the difference between sternness and harshness.  After all, sometimes parents must speak sternly, but they should never speak harshly.

“BE QUIET!”

Those two words an be spoken sternly or harshly, necessarily or unnecessarily.

I’m home with my seven children.  The noise level is rising steadily, and I believe I hear my 10 month old in the kitchen, about to close his fingers in the cabinet.  I say loudly and sternly:

“BE QUIET!”

My children stop.  I get my 10 month old.  I tell them to start playing again.

 

I’m home with my seven children.  The noise level rises, and rises, and rises.  But I’m distracted because I’m writing a blog on “How to Raise Godly Children!”  They are now yelling at the top of their lungs and the 10 month old is throwing a tantrum.  I can’t take it anymore!  I yell as loud as I can:

“BE QUIET!”

1. Sternness is proactive, for the good and peace of the house.
2. Harshness is reactive, for the good and peace OF ME!

Notice how proactive sternness implies self-control, while reactive harshness implies a loss of control.

Gentle self-control is the first goal; we achieve this goal through our words.  We must practice and model self-discipline before we discipline our children.   

But we MUST discipline our children.  Read part 2 to find out how.  CLICK HERE.