How do you define relationships? Jesus defines them by obedience to the will of God. He was so committed to this exclusive definition that he was willing to give this definition in the presence of his own blood family.
Real relationships are defined by obedience to God.
If your father or mother disobey God, they are not your real father or mother.
If your brother or sister disobey God, they are not your real brother or sister.
Your real family are those who obey God, both now and forever. We must believe and act on this truth if we are to be truly faithful to the Lord.
Hopefully, our blood relatives are also our spiritual relatives. This is how it should be. If it isn't, we can pray for our blood relatives to be born again. Until then, we must cherish true relationships and seek out true relationships where we don't have them. This is more than attending the same church gatherings. It is unified submission to and obedience of God's will.
What is God's will?
We must completely obey His Spirit, moment by moment, day by day.
Our family and friends are those who are obeying the Spirit at this moment. This point is crucial, and I've experienced it's crucialness. I first have to make sure I am obeying the Spirit at this moment so that others can count on me in a real relationship. Then I have to make sure that my fellow believers are doing the same. This is not being judgmental. It's being real. If you know you're obeying the Spirit, and you see the fruit of the Spirit in your life without question, then anyone who is opposing you is by definition in the flesh at that moment. The converse is true. If you know that a brother or sister is bearing the fruit of the Spirit, and you oppose him or her, then you are in the flesh at that moment. This is why Paul says to the Galatians that if a brother or sister is in sin or at fault, those who are spiritual should restore them. The spiritual believer has clear discernment, while the carnal believer's judgment can't be trusted at the moment.
Where are you at this moment? In the Spirit or in the flesh? The answer to these questions determines whether any believer can be in a real relationship with you right now.
Where are your friends or family at this moment? In the Spirit or in the flesh? The answer to these questions determines whether you can be in a real relationship with them right now.
So that you may know where you stand, if you want, pray this prayer with me:
Father God,
Thank you for your Spirit through faith in your Son.
I submit to the Spirit right now.
Help me to encourage my brothers and sisters to do the same
so we can experience the only real relationship possible,
relationships based on doing God's will.
Amen.
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