The Difference Between Will Power and Self Control (Part 2)

Imagine Benson is now a married man, faithful to God and his wife Anne, who he's been married to for 8 years, and has 5 beautiful children (five proofs of his intense physical attraction to his soft wife.)   But Benson is experiencing the same temptation from sexually alluring Mandy.  He chooses to focus on sexually desiring Anne in her tan sun dress that shows the shadow of her juicy figure, when he gets home, and refuses to sexually desire Mandy.  Why choose Mandy, with whom he must act quickly and afterwards feel guilty?  He'll be afraid of a disease or a baby with Mandy, and with losing Anne, the lovely love of his life.  But with Anne, he has a guarantee of sexual intimacy, as he's had for 8 years.  No rushing.  Completely fulfilling.  No fear of consequences.  No hiding.  No guilt.  The choice seems simple, logical, and desirable.  He doesn't have to force his will not to choose, but has self-control to choose between Mandy and his wife Anne.

 

This is difference between mere will power and self-control as a fruit of the Spirit:

Will power alone is self focused.
Self-control is relationship focused.

 

With will power, the focus is negative and self centered.  In the first scene with Mandy, Benson was focusing on what he WOULDN'T do, but not on what he should choose to do instead.  His motivation is self-centered.  He wants to resist lust for the simple sake of resistance.  Perhaps to prove to himself that he is a good person.  Or perhaps he thinks his will is invincible.  Yet we all know that like the muscles in our body, the strength of our will has limits.  Try holding your arms over your head for an hour.  Eventually your arms will fail.  The same is true with the strength of our wills when our focus is self centered.

 

But because Benson refused Mandy and chose the Spirit, or his wife Anne, his will and desires had an object, so that he wasn't resisting a temptation indefinitely.  And this choice is the essence of self-control. We are free when we see two options and can freely choose one while freely refusing the other.  To simply not choose, or resist a choice, doesn't bring free will or self control to it's truest power.  We exist in relationships, so our wills operate best when they are focused on loving God and loving others.

 

 Click HERE for the Conclusion...